my mom goes in for chemo wednesday, thursday, and friday this week. i just presented with a fever and body aches. if i get her sick, she could end up in the hospital. and i thought my biggest illness issue was that no one can bring me chicken soup because it isn't gluten and soy free. the universe just keeps giving me reasons to be happy with my normal life, except that it doesn't exist any more.
this week is going better. mom has been working some, a couple half days and a couple full. she's tired, but happy to be back at work.
we finally had the talk, and she is saying with me until her chemo is over. neither of us wants her to be alone during this. she insists on paying rent which is a relief and annoying at the same time. that's my mom. her second chemo is next week, with some kind of extra shot because her "blood was low" whatever that means.
i lost a tutoring kid, but saw the other one for the first time in weeks. that went pretty well. i made a cream sauce with ham and peas and roasted garlic last night, from scratch. it was fabulous over rice pasta. i've been leaving work when it's still light out, and even got some bridal shower shopping done tonight for a co-worker.
my only complaint this week was some sudden onset tummy malfunction this evening. i have been eating lots of fruits and veggies lately. i hope it's not going to be a problem. i *like* things that grow from the ground, and was very much enjoying eating them. i guess i'll see how i'm doing in a few days.
did i mention i made a cream sauce?
ah. that odd, sad, defeated feeling I've been waiting for since mom got sick is finally here. i'm 32, my 58 year old mother is going to live with me off and on for the next seven years or less and then die. there's not a thing in the world i can do about it. if i feel this awful, what the hell does she feel like?
Mom's sick. I can't tell how sick because she won't talk about it. Yesterday all she said was she was tired and felt kind of like she was about to come down with something. Today she still feels icky, but all I got was it's "different." There's nothing she needs, so I'm leaving her alone.
She's back to her annoying tricks of spreading the Sunday paper all over the place outside, so it can blow down the street later and leaving her coffee pot on the one square foot of counter space in the kitchen. Don't know if she's just feeling crappy or if she's being an ass on purpose.
I hope she's feeling better tomorrow. I want to see if she's safe to drive on her own before I head back to work Tuesday...
I'm keeping my fingers crossed. So far, the CHOP part of the chemo isn't so bad. She's on stuff to settle her stomach, and they gave her Imodium samples in case she needs them. She has a list of signs and symptoms that require calling the doctor, and another set that are normal. So far, all she has is the runny nose. She's down right chipper. I hope she stays that way.
Part of her chemo was called the Red Devil. It made her pee red :).
I think my brain is finally starting to get that who thing where she's going to live for a while. She sure doesn't look like she's going to keel over any time soon. She might even start back to work part time next week...
first part of mom's chemo was today (just the R from the R-CHOP.) she had weird shivery spasms all over her body. they had to stop the treatment for a while until everything settled down. she's feeling OK, if really tired tonight, so i guess it wasn't that bad.
tomorrow is the CHOP in the R-CHOP. i'm guessing she's really going to feel like crap tomorrow. i'm also worried because she's sniffling this evening, and blowing her nose a lot. if she gets a cold now, i don't know what would happen. her immune system is fucked...
part of me wants to be an orthodox jew, keep kosher, wear long skirts, follow all the rituals. i find something so comforting about judaism. i have no idea why.
My Mom has cancer. It's mantle cell lymphoma. It's a very aggressive lymphoma, and the prognosis with chemo is 1-7 years. Remission is possible, but not permanent with this form of cancer. She's some how twice as annoying as she was when she was just sick and in pain. I love her, I don't want her to die, and she still pisses me off.
I am so fucking angry.
For the last year or so, someone has been throwing rocks at my roof. The cops and my mom said that they couldn't damage the roof, so not to worry about it. I got tired of all the rocks on the roof, so today I climbed up on a ladder and took them down. There are GOUGES on my roof tiles,at least two or three that I saw.
I replaced that roof right after James left, when I made $9 an hour, when I had no money, when Owen was constantly sick and going to the vet. I took four classes at one time and invited my mom to be my roommate to pay myself back for that fucking roof. It took me two years to get that money back in the bank.
I suffered for that roof, through migraines and sinus infections, while taking classes. I suffered through daily fights with my mother, and never having a moment's privacy for three years, and one of my neighbors is trying to destroy it.
I'm getting video cameras. I'm getting motion lights. I'm going to catch this bastard. I don't give a shit who it is. They will pay for the damages.